I will die small
A tourist in my own life
Face-planted in mini-river
I will die in 6 inches of chlorine
At the crest of a water slide spitting
Me into the words
Of a foreign anthem
In the bed of a mini-gondola
A middle-aged man serenading me in period dress
So beautifully I drift
Into words on a mini-grave
I will die a photograph
An immutable figurine
In this lousy t-shirt
I will die a t-shirt
Like so many t-shirts before me
In the shadow of mini-Mount Vesuvius
I will die small
To a laugh track
In this brand new flag
That's two sizes too big
Return me to the closest department store and bury me
Where the women's section meets the men's
I will dye a t-shirt
To look like the withering
surface of the Acropolis and fire
That t-shirt
From a t-shirt gun
So beautifully across mini-blue sky
Into mini-grandstands
Where a man spills
A foreign beer
Onto his neighboring nation
In order to catch the flying t-shirt and give it to a little boy
Who smiles like a mini-flag
And assures everyone "The Euro is strong"
Thanks to the tourists
Circling Mini-Big Ben
Ala National Lampoon's European Vacation
I will die in period dress
Tradition scrolling
So beautifully down my face
I will die a little boy
At the river's edge
Under a wave of of pre-recorded laughter
Dying for a photograph
My arm around the sky
The mini-grandstands do The Wave
Every figurine smiles in matching anthems
Spilling foreign wars
Onto the backs of the rows in front
