My blue angel comes to me
after the sanitation trucks
and asks
what drugs I need
while she's in the neighborhood
Her finger waves are waxen
and her cupid-bow is stamped on
I say I want to be so sped up
that my jaw swells shut
my body becomes negligible
and the world purely a dimension
peopled with bilious gestures
All modes of desire are simulated anyway
So
Don't feed me any duds
about poems
not being dialogical
Because I know a poem by
how much it sounds like
or doesn't sound like
one of its precursors
So
I don't actually need to feel anything at all
except that I live on a wavy plane
among artists
It's a middle ether of baby's breath
or little cuntfaces in the violet nightshade
and I do expect to be applauded
if I say this right
So
can you please
give me a compliment today
starting with YOU ARE
You are not much of a caretaker
Blue angel of unctuous balm
I don't know why I try
my charlatans at your oaken desk
and talk to you about intellectual things
Blue angel
you're like a worldly older girl
who took me on spring break
and locked me in a tower
with a Real World cast member
Why do we still use the language
of Feudalism
on the internet
An icon (<icon>)
Blue Angel remember
You are to be a well-uttered fuck
that disrupts my desire for coherence
I'm trying to unify my affects
and privilege none
Radha waiting for Krishna in the garden
The bridegroom waiting for Christ
These walls of my serfdom I wait half-dosed
ladling cream in my own lap
In a civilization that has lost its purpose
I try to think of metaphor
as a paradoxical truth
I believe in beauty
If metaphor is truth
and truth is beauty
then I'm a Christian
Ok
I wouldn't call myself a thinker
But I feel as if this world is wrong
has been from the beginning
Since the underground was made dirty
and the sky throne erected
This is why Bataille gave us the Acephale
Cut off the head to let the humors
hose through
The female passions unplugged from
their social vocation
and sprayed at the heavens like
animal elimination
Probably wasn't Collette's idea
to sleep with the enemy
Yet we must
But of course there's no way to know
what it was really like in the first place
What if all my thoughts are deferred action
My girl lovers Blue Angel
I didn't like when she left a pink carnation
in my mailbox
I hate men
So why would I date someone who acts
like one
All the destruction caused by these
little castrated monsters
makes you think
Who is picking up the pieces
Women
are the only human beings
You Blue Angel of pharmaceuticals
have gone wrong too
For a very long time
you have led sheep to slaughter
and hooked rising starlets in your cane
dragging them out of vaudeville
for good
Rub your acrid powder
on my gums
I'm moulting on the trapeze bar
while you make
my decisions
All season I've been
rehearsing in my sequins
while the other carnies have gone
to rural Italy
in the wagon of a muscular sadist
17th century blue
You are offering me chicken
feathers for wings
So I may taste the zeal
in my throat when I fall
and break my neck
in front of a million men marching
I can't say I don't deserve it
One Christmas morning
I woke up wearing
a belly chain restraint
A woman was singing
about black lacquered coffins
Blue angel
I'm a natural nurturer
So if you won't take care of me
I will make you my infant
A shaman said if I hate myself I can't
believe in happiness
but I disagree
Oh transcendentalists
at the organic farm
Happiness is not a condition
It's a calling
Go into big oil
Get the most out of life
Eagle ford was like literally an ocean
under our feet
My blue angel
you poisoned me
with false hope
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Because I must inherit a role
you can put me underneath whoever
I'll respect the privacy
of our patrons
And someday
the Lords will share their kingdom
I am not entitled to protection
No
I have to work for it
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I was given a child
as a "karmic learning lesson"
in need versus desire
for all I know...
Now I finally feel
as if I deserve nothing
I force my utility upon
this tiny babe
Nipples and introductions
to the symbolic order
This is important
He grew into a boy
with bad vision
and grotesque bone structure
He checked payphones for change
and pick-pocketed the poor
As a crooked twenty-something
he joined ALEC
took my money and never
gave me tax advice
Long ago in the village
we would
build up those around us
That's where I'm coming from
I built a treehouse of palm fronds for junkies
But he's not like me
Am I regarding him narcissistically
this child who regards me
narcissistically
It's terrible to bleed and not die
like some game hunter's chimera
I'm haunted again
by girlhood hallucinations
The black bull who walked on two legs
pacing the porch
Blue angel
come back and pill me
what can take the edge off
To the extent that I did not become
the black bull with red eyes
I became a woman
Judith Butler my son castrates me
on an imaginary schedule
I hate him
Men can't structurally see
women
We just loom like shadowy shrieks
in the entrance
the way Euripides proclaimed it
My child takes
the gentle on all fours
You angel of order
give me back the blue lethargy
my tourniquet of depression
the superego
if you will
The meek are not born that way
Their cars are
wrecked repossessed impounded
Objects of desire and identification
repeatedly lost
This is the dark side of environmentalism
You punish it for leaving
But there really are
no exits
Nothing is extinguished
Ann Coulter Phyllis Schlafly
you will sit at the children's table
in heaven
Richard II you wish
your name could be blotted out
from the book of life
Such a social thing to say
Did you ever think of anal rape
by a bull
or reading fiction to feel
more like yourself
Blue angel
You were right to explode
this shitshow
into drama
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